- Me: Hey, I like your shirt.
- Them: Thanks, I got it for seventy dollars at a department store.
- Me: Really? Because for seventy dollars at Burlington, I got the same shirt, three lamps, cashmere underwear, a golden retriever and two puerto rican children
i know what you’re going through i read the perks of being a wallflower
Mom I can’t look punk rock with you standing next to me
you know how people lose their virginity, im like gaining it
my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him